For Parents

Overview

Parental involvement improves student success in the K-12 years. We can assume the same to be true for college. What may be different is the level of involvement. A common struggle is the parent-child tango between dependence and independence, a dance that varies as much as the dancers.

Going to college may be the first time the student leaves home. For some parents, it is a time to rejoice and then cling onto their college-bound child, while other parents may cling then rejoice. For some parents, the broader struggle is accepting the need to let go. For other parents, the struggle is getting the child to let go. For others, it's which strings to cut and when and whether to retie certain strings temporarily. For those whose child is the first ever in a family to attend college, everyone becomes exposed to a new world.

Suggestions

  1. Keep communication open with the student. The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) is a federal law that restricts what information Santa Fe College can reveal about a student without that student's permission. So keep communication open with the student so that the student can be a valued source of how they are doing.
  2. Become aware of Campus resources that can assist the student such as the Counseling and Wellness Center, Financial Aid, and Student Activities.
  3. Send clear messages of love and support.
  4. Consult with a Counselor about how you may assist the student, including how to even approach the student about a matter.
  5. Encourage the student to visit the Counseling and Wellness Center to simply find out about available resources known to help student succeed and enjoy the college experience.

Remember

  • College offers a variety of experiences
  • Display a non-intrusive genuine interest in the student. Consider a weekly phone call to check-in versus everyday unless the student requests more.
  • Drugs and alcohol issues are faced by many students in college. As a parent, look for the signs of use.
  • Depression and Anxiety are also common. To become more aware of them, please visit the Resources section of the Counseling and Wellness Center website.
  • Other common issues include home sickness, making new friends, developing new interests, changes in identity, managing new responsibilities, and anxiety about the unknown.
  • Students coming to the SF Counseling and Wellness Center often express concerns about motivation and relationships, including relationships with family.

Warning Signs

Listed below are some things to look for in students who could use some additional support.

  • Failing grades
  • Dramatic weight changes. It is normal for weight to fluctuate when students leave home and are responsible for their own eating. However, please be aware of significant weight changes.
  • Frequent health complaints such as headaches, stomachaches, etc.
  • Social isolation - reports of having no friends or anyone to do anything with. It may help to ask about weekend plans.
  • Loss of interest in things once enjoyed.
  • Differences in hygiene and how the student dresses and carries themselves.
  • Reports about problems sleeping (too much or too little).
  • Difficulty focusing, seeming "zoned out", and distracted in conversations.
  • Recent loss of a person important to them.
  • Recent traumatic family event such as divorce, illness, natural disaster, etc.